ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
