I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
