fuck your aforementioned shoe
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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