they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
