i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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