Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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