I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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