can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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