i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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