I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
