Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
