Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
