why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
