I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
