You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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