U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
