so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
