just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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