I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
