He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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