The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
