This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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