every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
operation harelip BJ is a go
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
