I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....