Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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