I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize