drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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