bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
