white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
