i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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