So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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