Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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