They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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