do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
