a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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