She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize