I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize