So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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