just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I lost the right to judge tonight
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
