Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize