she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize