i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
