the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
