Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
