I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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