i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
