yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
