We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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