I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
