dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
