just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
