how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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