so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
