i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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