grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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